We are familiar with that person who talks about their goals, but does nothing to get closer to achieving them. It is easier to imagine than it is to act, but it is also delusional to believe you can daydream your way into change.
This “person” is you. At least some part, to some degree, at some point in time.
How many projects have you started and left unfinished? Dreams you’ve let wither as the months pass? Excuses you’ve convinced yourself of to make your unsatisfying reality a bit more comfortable?
It makes sense that in our overstimulating, media binging reality that we find ourselves at frozen in our tracks to collect our thoughts. That we are more often trying to keep up and make sense of our reality than actually participating in it.
I remember keeping a romantic partner in my life far past his expiration date to cope with a stressful job, schoolwork and family conflict. For years.
Some lies I fed myself that might resonate were, “I hate it, but it’s good money”, “when I am finished the degree I will have more certainty on what I want to do”, and “I can find the love I need in him”. It took slowly purging the entirety of my life to give myself the space I needed to identify what i desired, what I believed to be true and decide to start working towards it.
So how can you begin to step out of this state of inertia and actualize your ideal life?
3 Ways to Welcome Change:
- Skip the Petty Daily Grievances
That small talk, “wow the weather is so nice”, has its place as a gateway conversation starter – keep it at that. The less gossiping, complaining and co-worker-drama-fuelled conversation you can instigate and participate in, the more space you create for new energy-giving thoughts and feelings.
2. Reconsider your Sphere of Influences
You are a product of your social environment. You adopt the characteristics of the people you spend the most time with. The places you frequent either fill you up with energy and inspiration or deplete you of your joy. It isn’t selfish to move on from jobs that you’ve stunted in growth, or relationships that feel stale. If you are unsatisfied with your current reality, you will need to let go of many of your current habits. Where you are meant to be is waiting beyond all of the small decisions that change your trajectory.
Consider – maybe going out for drinks with coworkers you don’t truly feel connected with is an excuse for company. Maybe sitting with yourself and conquering the discomfort that comes with self-study is the intermission you need to actualize change. An article I recommend reading: https://angrytherapist.medium.com/the-art-of-sitting-with-yourself-51218fb6a980#:~:text=Dating%20yourself%20or%20sitting%20with,have%20no%20control%20over%20that.
3. Practice Self Awareness
You are EXPERIENCING your thoughts and feelings – you are NOT your thoughts and feelings.
There is no subjective way to behave and lead your personal life. There ARE moral codes, societal ideals and laws that we need to seriously consider of course, but truly evaluate how many of your thoughts, actions and beliefs are your own. Observe what ideas come up naturally, evaluate them, and start aligning your behaviour with your values.
It’s a succession of “nows” that will add up, leading us from one experience to another. Realize that things are only as boring as you let them be. That there are fascinatingly foreign parts of life that you won’t experience until you step outside of your self-induced safe zone.
In the words of Johanna de Silento, “The only was to fail is to abstain”.
Your Subtle Bodies 